i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize