Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
