You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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