how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize