Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
