I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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