getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
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So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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