I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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