Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
