if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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