trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize