There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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