if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
