so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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