apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
