Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
