i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
