did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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