so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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