Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
