naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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