Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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