She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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