Your face is a jimmy john
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
