WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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