I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
