There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
