he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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