I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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