Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
