She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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