The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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