Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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