So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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