Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
