He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
