She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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