I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize