dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
