Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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