Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
