Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
