did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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