Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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