so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i think i just lost a toe
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
