dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
