Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
