already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
