Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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