did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
