I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
