3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
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Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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