Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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