Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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