You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
