I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
