plz talk dirty to me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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