he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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