i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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