I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize