I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
