This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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